Reflections and Jet Lag
April 17, 2025 3:09am in Utrecht, Netherlands.
Tim and I got up at 6am in Friday Harbor, WA on 4/15 to travel to Europe. We landed in Utrecht in our rented studio apartment by a canal at 3pm ish. FH to Seattle, Seattle to Iceland-Iceland to Amsterdam.
We had a conversation a few days ago about what we were bringing to wear as we were concerned about what people would think of us because they would probably know we are Americans. Tim mentioned how he doesn’t consciously choose to care what people think, but he just does care and always has. I said I cared enough not to want to draw attention to myself but otherwise I don’t care what people think. Or so I thought and had convinced myself until traveling yesterday. Tim, in his defense, was medicated for flying anxiety, “little buddies”, which as a side effect helps you not care about much. In fact he could cut in front of someone lined up in a queue and be completely unaware that he just did that. However as the day progressed I became acutely aware of how uncomfortable I was with what strangers thought of me and of us.
For example, on the plane there was a woman sitting next to me in the aisle seat, Tim had a window seat and I was in the middle. Even though I felt like Tim and I excelled at coordinating our efforts to both use the bathroom at the same time, I felt her eyes roll every time I asked her to move, (which I asked very kindly and respectfully actually.) It was seven and a half hours of misery for both her and I. To cheer myself up I decided “today was as good a day as any for bladder training”. Turns out crossing your legs helps as well.
I clearly didn’t give myself enough grace for being up all day with little to no sleep, having to sit for long periods, wriggling in my 24 inches of space, crossing and uncrossing my legs while I turned the pages of my book. But after all the plane travel and before we embarked on the train to our final destination I wanted a coffee. I was the only one in the coffee shop when I placed my order for an Americano with half and half. The barista gave me a full on head roll, literally. With an exasperated sigh he said “we have milk or heavy cream”. Okay, I shouldn’t have taken that personally, especially because no one was in the shop but me, what else does he have to do, but I couldn’t help but feel the daggers flying.
The topper happened after we’d settled in to our studio and walked to the grocery store to buy some groceries at the market, like we’ve done a gazillion times before. But because we are in a foreign country, the rules are different and we somehow screwed it up. As we were scanning our groceries at the self-check station, an attendant arrives out of thin air so he could rescan all our items, and show us how to swipe our card. Ever get the feeling that everyone is staring at you. Really?!
But I found myself wondering what these people must think of us. I am surrounded by people that look like us but speak another language is all. Are we foreigners just a big nuisance getting in the way? I suspect I am just being tired, too sensitive and feeling vulnerable with the state of our world right now.
As I reflect on our day of travel and my feelings, I’ve decided that today is a completely new day and we are in a very cool city that needs exploring.
Things I am grateful for:
Tim and I made it safely to the Netherlands.
We didn’t lose anything.
We have a great place to stay and What an extraordinary opportunity this is!
The Dutch make really good coffee.